Live reporting: Microsoft's E3 presentation

So, even though I was up half the night downloading bootleg Billy Joel concert clips, I still managed to pull myself awake early enough for Microsoft's E3 presentation, which is being shown LIVE on G4 right now.

We already know Microsoft has dropped the price on their 20-gig Xbox 360, as well as discontinued that model in favor of an 80-gig model, but what else is new? We'll find out in the next two hours.

Just before the show began, G4 was once again airing the documentary "The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters," one of my favorite movies of all time. Honestly, if you haven't seen that movie you literally don't know what you're missing, since nobody quite knows what they're getting into before watching, but I don't know anyone who wasn't cheering by the end of it.

Today's G4 hosts are Adam Sessler, Morgan Webb and Kevin Perriera... or however you spell it. Kevin is looking a little out of place as the third host instead of the center of attention. Adam is looking a whole lot more confident as a live host this year, after going through months of live X-Play episodes since January. And Morgan is looking.... well, she's just looking nice.

The gang is discussing the possibility of Microsoft announcing that long-rumored motion-sensitive Xbox controller today, and they are a doubtful Microsoft is ever going to announce it, because the very concept would alienate their hardcore-gamer base of fans. Personally, I think that's exactly why Microsoft is going to announce the technology. The company's gaming division has made some horrendous decisions in recent years, and, knowing the PS3 is starting to mount some momentum, I think Xbox feels desperate for some gimmick to stay on top -- getting those non-hardcore fans. Which will, of course, backfire.

Just so you know, we're still 13 minutes from the actual presentation starting, so sit tight. Maybe get yourself some chips and salsa. I actually have a great chips and salsa bowl story, if such a thing exists. If things get boring, I may just tell it.

Ah yes, the gang is now debating the age-old question "Halo 3" vs. "Gears of War 2" in terms of probable sales. In the interest of boredom, I'll offer my opinion -- event people who couldn't tell you what an Xbox 360 controller looks like was interested in "Halo" last year. Everyone got to know Master Chief, everyone knew the name "Halo," the marketing and media buzz was just that good. And, it likely seduced non-hardcore fans to buy "Halo 3." "Gears of War" doesn't have that, and I don't think the franchise is fertile enough to grow that sort of mainstream buzz.

For the THIRD TIME the order of hosts' seats has changed. What are you doing, G4? Your production people are better than this! First it was Adam-Morgan-Kevin, then it was Morgan-Adam-Kevin, now it's Kevin-Adam-Morgan. Are we playing musical chairs here? If so, you have one too many chairs.

CONFERENCE STARTING:

Don Mattrick takes the stage... without a high school band playing the "Halo" theme...

Don just cited "Xbox Uno" as a hit for Microsoft. Grasping at those straws pretty tightly, eh?

Microsoft opens their presentation with a 1950's-style video for an atomic bomb-protection vault. So, we're starting with "Fallout 3," apparently. And, the video is now apparently available on Xbox Live.

We're demoing "Fallout 3" now, which looks pretty darned cool as a post-apocalyptic world. It's a first-person shooter, in case you didn't know. And, as the blood begins to splatter, our host tell us "this is where the content might be inappropriate for some audiences." Don't worry buddy, children are never watching TV at 1:40 p.m. or anything...

We were just told the game encompasses over 100 hours of gameplay, which is very good for a FPS. Personally, I would just like to know how many US Monuments are around that we get to see in this world.

The demo is now over... and while the game looked sharp, the gameplay looks pretty standard.

"Resident Evil 5" is up next... The demo has begun. It's a third-person shooter, if you didn't know, and we're currently looking around a dilapidated African building shooting zombies. That's just good fun.

A curveball! As player one got to a dead end, ONLINE CO-OP MODE was announced, and a teammate showed up to help player one. Definitely one of the more creative announcements we've seen at an E3 demo.

One player is shooting the zombies head-on while the other is flanking them from a perpendicular building. Apparently zombies don't know enough to turn to look for who's shooting them from the side.

And, as "Resident Evil 5" is finished, they tell us the release date is Friday 13, March 2009. I betcha they could have had the game out sooner, except they wanted a Friday 13th release date.

The highlight of the show for me next -- "Fable II!" Peter Moynieaux tells us the game is complete, and we now get to see a trailer.

And the "Fable" trailer is so pretty it will make you finally go buy that HDTV you've been putting off getting. You start as a child, and grow into a "full-grown hero."

Peter is talking about the AI dog again, which is to become your AI best friend. It's just making me miss my dead car.

We're also being shown the online co-op mode, and how you interact with another friends' "Fable" world. Peter tells us you can go with your friend and get drunk in the bar together. Again, guys, 1:53 p.m. Giving us a bad name.

Release date: October of THIS YEAR. Gonna have to schedule me some vacation time, Jim!

Here it is: "Gears of War 2" ... Here comes Cliff Blesinski. And the fanboys faint.

Again, we're going to see the online co-op mode. Apparently that's the thing to do this year. What I like about this presentation is, Cliff isn't wasting all that time talking about features of the game, he and his backstage buddy have just thrown themselves into a firefight, one that looks very much like the last "Gears" game, with a little bit of polish but who cares, we're all going to buy it.

And an expletive, the "S" word makes it on to daytime TV as part of this game, which is actually looking prettier and prettier as this demo goes on.

So far, we're really very light on the HUGE announcements, as the clock strikes 2 p.m.

OK, we just went through a part of the game that included an elevator - which moves sideways since the building had been knocked over - and an enormous "Cloverfield" looking monster. That demo just got better and better as it went along.

Here's one announcement - a FIVE PLAYER co-op mode. Release date of Nov. 7, what has become the biggest release window of the year.

Aw geez, we're about to hear about "The New Family Game Night." All the blood and swearing of the last hour wasn't enough family time for you, Microsoft? This is the part of the show where we see graphs and hear numbers. Anyone ready for that chips and salsa bowl story?

G4 just told us a new announcement will be made in three minutes. Way to ruin the surprise, guys.

NBC and Universal Studios are joining the Xbox Live family... was that the announcement? Seriously? No, Seriously?

This would be around the time the new motion-sensitive controller would be dropped on us...

Nope. At least not yet. We're still talking about Xbox Live. Which, in all fairness, is really a cash cow.

Wow, a new Xbox 360 dashboard is coming, with avatars. Or, bootleg Miis, for short.

OH MAN, G4 just accidentally went to commercial. Bad form!

And we're back. Someone just said "Where else but Xbox Live could you introduce the idea of an avatar, and it immediately becomes 10,000,000 avatars." Umm, ON WII!!!

I wonder how hard it is for these guys to give us all this avatar information with a straight face.

There is going to be a new Xbox Channel (another Wii Word) in which you and your friends play gameshows online. It's called Xbox Live Primetime.

Xbox Live was already the best interface of any console... did we really want this or did Microsoft just think we needed this because of Wii?

We're also being told, in detail, that we and our party of friends can move from game to game on Xbox Live seamlessly... frankly, I don't like my friends enough to want to spend so much time with them! Honestly, who was having problems finding friends when you wanted to find them on Xbox Live before?

A New Portal debuts - "Portal Still Alive." It's coming to Xbox Live Arcade this fall. So is, apparently, a South Park game. Which do you care more about? Thought so.

Netflix is apparently joining XboxLive too, for members of both companies.

The next trailer: "Banjo Kazooie Nuts and Bolts," The rumored motion sensitive game... It comes and goes with no announcement.

More game trailers, with the "Viva Pinata" sequel and "Scene it? Box Office Smash."

Oh geez, in "You're in the Movies," you use the Xbox camera to place yourself in goofy little skits. It looks kind of like those projection games on the floor of some malls that kids like to jump on top of. Xbox obviously doesn't realize they haven't wowed anyone yet with their current lineup of new games, or else they wouldn't be showing this junk.

Can I go to work yet? I don't want to watch ladies disco dance in front of an Xbox camera anymore.

We're on to the music games. Has there been anything new in a "Guitar Hero" game since the first? No? Then why are we putting out yet another one now?

Check that, I was wrong, "Guitar Hero" is adding drums! So.... kinda like "Rock Band?"

I feel like I've gotten much more sarcastic in the last 20 minutes... is it just me? If I have, it's because I haven't heard anything worth hearing in the last 20 minutes. We were just told "Guitar Hero: World Tour" buyers get to download an R.E.M. music pack. This is why I am suddenly in a bad mood. THAT is not a big announcement. That's something that gets sent out on a press release and I put in the recycling bin.

A new singing game is announced, "Lips." Apparently you can plug in your MP3 player to the Xbox and sing along. As a side note, you know this is a Microsoft presentation because the guy on stage said you can plug in your ZUNE or your iPod. Honestly, guys, who bought a Zune?

But, if this game works, this could actually be really big -- and it's something NEW. My problem with music games is nothing has been new in a while. This will free us of the downloadable songs costs. Although, you know it will be a while until we see if you can really sing ANY song in your Zune. You know, or iPod. If I can't sing "Waiting for a Star to Fall" I ain't buyin'!

Next up, surprise surprise, "Rock Band 2," which debuts exclusively on Xbox 360 in September. 84 Tracks in the game, pretty good. No word on anything from "Boy meets girl," though.

The show is wrapping up, with little true big news, other than the Xbox Live Interface. In fact, the biggest news is the LACK of news regarding that motion-sensitive controller.

SquareEnix takes the stage to talk about the Xbox's JRPG lineup, which I am a little surprised is coming so late in the presentation. I thought Microsoft wanted to really ram home the idea this year that they have a good JRPG selection. And, there is also no new news here. I think Microsoft is really missing the boat here.

HOLD UP... A Surprise announcement as Microsoft seemed like they were going into their wrapping up routine. A trailer is being shown, which Microsoft asked G4 to not get a great camera angle of, but you can see a the trailer small...

FINAL FANTASY XIII is coming to XBOX360! BAM! Show-stopper!

See? I told you Microsoft wanted to push their JRPG lineup.

And that's how they close the show. Well, my opinion of the show was just turned on its ear in the last five minutes. Time for me to go to work. I'll be back later. Thanks!