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You know, say what you will about Marvel in the post "One More Day" age -- and I've said plenty.

But nothing "The House of Ideas" has produced to my memory has been as worthless as Countdown to Final Crisis #2.

This issue was so bad that it's the reason I am posting this report so late at night. It's true. Countdown was the first comic I read tonight, and after completing it I was so confused and annoyed that I had take time and jump online to find OTHER reviews just because I thought there must have been something I missed that makes it all make sense. But it doesn't. It really really doesn't.

For starters, I was one of those in need of an explanation for why Darkseid was suddenly able to grow and fight enormous Jimmy Olsen. Well, we get an explanation on page 3: "He's Freaking Darkseid!" Donna Troy said.

I don't know what's worse about that -- that we're supposed to just buy that crap or that a writer, and the editor that gave it the OK, thought Donna Troy would spout off that dribble in such a way.

But it got worse. After finding the device in Jimmy's head that was storing all those souls, he removes it, grows to his normal size, and then crushes it in his hand.

Yes, a normal human was able to crush a cosmic device that collects souls. And what I want to know is, if killing Jimmy would give all those souls to Darkseid, then why would crushing the device simply make the souls dissipate? Shouldn't it have the same effect as killing Jimmy? And wouldn't smart guy Ray Palmer not want to do something so reckless?

But it got worse. Orion showed up to stop Darkseid. Yeah, Orion. You know, even though he died a few months ago in a book titled "Death of the New Gods." Maybe DC has heard of that mini-series? I mean, it was a pretty well written series, so I would think DC would have read it. You know, especially since THEY PRINTED IT!

And Countdown offers no explanation for how he is here, not even a contrived answer to any of us who read Orion's gallant demise MONTHS ago. Nope, it is completely ignored. Even by Superman, who Watched Orion Die in that series.

Speaking of Superman, while Orion and Darkseid battle, further tearing apart Metropolis, Superman stops his super-powered chums from helping Orion win faster, thus sparing the destruction. Why, you ask? "This is between a father and his son, Kyle. This is between Gods."

Oh, that explains it. Thanks, Supes!

But it got worse. Orion (you know, the guy who died) tears out Darkseid's heart, causing him to burst into flames and die. Which wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that Grant Morrison has not shut up talking on and on and on about how Darkseid is the big villain in his upcoming epic "Final Crisis." I mean, Damn guys, you have ads for "Final Crisis" in this very issue -- ads that include Darkseid! Also, in that mini-series you guys haven't read (it was called "Death of the New Gods" if you forgot), Darkseid is the narrator! He survives, we know this! So why is his "death" the big shocking moment in the penultimate issue of your huge year-long series?!?

The only solace here is that Countdown is one issue away from being a bad memory.

Ugh, but I did read other things this week, and unfortunately it wasn't that spectacular. Especially since I started off with such a bad appetizer.

X-Men: Divided We Stand #1 is NOT the must read I predicted it to be. Though it's not a bad read, featuring five standalone stories showing what some heroes have been up to during their time separated from Xavier's Institute, I can sum up each in one sentence per.

Ready? Here we go: 1) Cannonball feels he doesn't belong at home anymore. 2) Nehzno doesn't feel he belongs anywhere (though this was the best of the stories. 3) Anole doesn't fit in at home anymore. 4) Julian feels abandoned by the X-Men and has no home. 5) Nightcrawler is religious.

I just saved you four bucks. I'll expect a check in the mail.

Sadly, Captain America #37 was also not quite up to the standard Ed Brubaker has set for himself either. After the big shocker at the end of last issue, with Sharon finding "Steve Rogers' " body, there was absolutely no plot development in this story. Sure, we saw a couple of interesting scenes -- one featuring Hawkeye confronting Captain Bucky and another showing Bucky's dreams -- but nothing happens until the last page, and I don't even know what exactly happened there.

Salvation Run #6 was much of the same. I've loved this series, but nothing happens here to advance the plot until the Parademons arrive toward the end.

Yes, they arrive, so next issue's finale should be GREAT, but for now, the long-awaited showdown between Lex Luthor and the Joker was nothing more than space filler. I would have liked some resolution there. It's almost as if DC decided both had to look like 'the man,' but neither was allowed to score even a marginal victory, just so people could go on arguing who would win in a fight.

UGH, looking back on it, this week really stunk. I'm going to go watch some Justice League Unlimited cartoons. Those may pander to children, but at least they don't insult my intelligence like SOME DC offerings.